You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
