i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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