I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Come share oat with me in your robe
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize