I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
