It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
