Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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