i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
