I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize