This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize