I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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