In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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