i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
