If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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