You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think my moral compass just broke
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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