Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
as a side note pls kill me
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