Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Bring me that man meat
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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