yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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