high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
