U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize