My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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