I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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