Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
