We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
