you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
