at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am available for nakedness
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
