i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
