I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
