Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
