what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My feet surprised me
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