THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
