Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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