Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
