I like my sex mixed with concussions.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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