I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
