I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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