i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
