It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
