Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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