I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
