The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
