you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
