yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize