White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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