dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
