Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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