sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
