We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
