too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
