so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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