I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize