watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
