Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
