this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
