ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
