I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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