So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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