I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
