I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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