Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
