One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
