Porn is love you can see.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
