Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have aggressive nipples.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
