his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
