i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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