tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
accomplished twins. life is a go
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
