I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
