did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
