Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
