He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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