you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
