I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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