every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
