I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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