so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
