90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
