If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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