how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
