He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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