i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This baby is an asshole
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
