In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
