There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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