I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
