doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
