then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
